Randomness Overload

EX
EXA
EXAM
EXAM P
EXAM PH
EXAM PHA
EXAM PHAS
EXAM PHASE


Ther it is. I finally managed to type that ridiculously heaved word that brought tons of hardships in my 2 weeks. Like others, I will have an anemic spirit to change. It come off weak but soon darkens as remorse floods into me.

I have already rummaged through my belongings and wisely sorted some of those junks. I am a typical teenager who dreams of a bedroom that coould be an ideal reading place, study area and also  a cool place to hangout alone. YASSS I mean ALONE XD


Call me an introvert. I dont care I am apathetic reader who prefers reading in my own comfortable yet modestly-designed area. Often I would head home to sneak in my rading corner, not a fancy place;an area between my plushy pillows and my hugely-sized bookshelves that I regard as the best piece of furniture  in my room. I lust for a boho look that enables me to relax but still motivates me to pursue my daily life at its peak as a student.

This year successfully knotted me into an unbearable conclusion. urgh.
Shall that be the post of today?

Worthless? I know.

That is the meaning of the post Im trying to instill.

Random... Our heart changes all the time.


XD

Kesal

Salam! Aku rasa dah lama aku tak post benda santai. Like update giteww. But anywho, aku tengah dalam fasa exam.

Di mana korang nampak budak sekolah pegang paper semasa berjalan. Kening macam nak bersambung sebab kerut dalam sangat. Sebenarnya, aku dah dapat rasa results aku akan slack sikit. 
Kesal GILERR DOHH! 

Bila ulangkaji tu macam maki diri sendiri sebab tak belajar awal.

Setiap malam rambut ikal mayang aku akan berubah..

Satu point tu aku hampir rasa future aku akan musnah kalau aku terus camni. Otak aku yang selama ni rilek dah bertimbun masalah macam sampah kat meja aku ni. Bila belajar last minit ni, sume tak kena.... Alahai...

Sekarang ni tinggal 4 subjek akademik yang aku boleh usaha untuk cover ukhrawi yang results dia InshAllah AMAZING! Kalau korang paham...

Walaupun tinggal 4 je, aku tetap berangan bila dapat senyum camni... Hmmmm...

Kau tengok yang pakai tudung hitam berenda putih macam minah sesat tu. Senyum punya lah luas... Rindu nak senyum giteww...


Sesal dah tak gunakan, jadi bagi yang masih berlengah tu pergi lah kerjakan apa yang patut sebelum korang menyesal cam aku ni... Dan tak sah kalau aku akhiri dengan kata azimat aku, GOODLUCK! 

Mistake I Commited

Mistake I Commited

To be honest, everyone would have commited a mistake in the past. But this time, as I reflect upon it, it seems to be a silly or regretful one. Despite that I am grateful for its happening since that made me who I am now.

People thought they helped to change me, but no. It is not the incident that acquired me to change, it is the embodiment of it; respecting others.

Growing up I was the kid that talks with no filter and I really mean it. Sometimes, the thought of me saying something passes and the next time I knew was people called me a liar. Its not their fault but I happened to blurt almost everything including if the thought that happen to pass by. Those thoughts included my hopes, lusts, my future actions and etc. Me blurting out did not stop. Now Im trying to shut my thoughts off when speaking to people because it does not only results me in blurting every string of thoughts that pass by but also randomness hence leading my audience to confusion that can knot into a conclusion of me being a liar.

I know I may not be the only one suffering this but shutting my thoughts off is REALLY HARD. I like and enjoy writing so thinking and observing is what I subconsciously do. Its a norm but I am still trying to change.

My fellow friends please do not let people change you even if its for the good, you must do it whole-heartedly to see the difference and goodluck. xx

akurimaujambu. xx

Gagasan Semangat Luarbiasa

9 Oktober 2014


Kadangkala kita yang sudah biasa disakiti akan merasa kekebasan. Kebas, tak mampu untuk merasa kepedihan atau derita. Hanya deraian air mata yang mengalir.

Aku punya hak untuk menarik balik catan semalam. Catan yang aku jadikan inspirasi agar hari yang mendatang bisa aku harungi dengan tabah. Namun, onak itu merapuhkan aku, membingungkan aku lantas menyesatkan matlamatku; untuk mencekalkan semangat. Aku insan lemah tidak punya gagasan tenaga yang boleh menolak aku untuk terus bangkit dengan diri sendiri.

Aku perlukan semangat; semangat yang luarbiasa. Tatkala aku duduk berbuaiakan mimpi memikirkan bahawa aku ini sang legenda penakluk dunia yang mampu mengenggam dunia, aku dipangkah, dicantas menenggelamkan lagi aku yang lemah di dalam takungan toksin.

Sekitar Aku

SEKITAR AKU #2



Catan 20 September 2014


Kewujudan Samurai bukan sahaja menimbulkan sengketa malah masalah yang semakin memburuk. Tidak pernah aku tahu bahawa pihak sekolah akan mendedahkan keaiban itu. Curigaku bertambah apabila kemesraan terjalin diantaranya dengan guru besar.

Apakah hubungan mereka kedua?

Cara pakaiannya telah sedikit-sebanyak menarik perhatian pelajar-pelajar di sekolah. Taring harimau dijadikan hiasan di kaki. Rantai tengkorak yang terjuntai dari beg sekolah... Apakah maksud itu? Adakah dia seorang peminat band yang terkemuka ataupun itu hanyalah trend yang tak pernah aku ikuti.

Aku tidak kuasa untuk membuat sebarang andaian atau tuduhan ke atasnya sementara tiada perkara yang curiga yang berlaku. Namun itu tidak menghentikanku dari menyiasat dirinya semakin hari semakin mengelirukan.

Syana dan Hazrah turut tertarik dengan Samurai. Pelik sungguh apabila keaiban itu didedahkan, tambahan pula aku, Syana dan Hazrah yang dahulunya disuruh mengunci mulut agar ia tidak diketahui ramai.

Biar pecah di perut, jangan pecah di mulut kata Cikgu Zaqwan.

Adakah apa yang dibacaku di diari Suhana dahulu betul? Akan adakah perkara karut itu, menghantui kami menceraikan setiap nyawa dari jasad?

Almost Coming True

Almost Real

Lately things that I had secretly wished for is coming into reality; personal-wise. My train of thoughts are being appreciated but what scared me the most was my thought becoming verbal, raising my ideas into other's consideration which are often used to be a decision of something I consider major.

My advice being used is definitely not a norm. Almost awkward, I pleaded them to not involve me in any matter that is personal. Never a desire that is. I want to reach out to people but not in a manner where every single soul could know who I am. Frankly, I am comfortable being 'transparent'; people at school or the world not knowing me. I cannot be in the spotlight or like I wish to be so. It will be a nightmare. Confronting people, meeting people is something I refrain from. 

What is almost real , a rhetorical question that I am uncertain of.

Excitement

EXCITEMENT SHALL EMERGE, I HOPE

Am I excited for October?

Well, I should not start with a rheteorical question but I favour it so there it goes... Hahah.

Nope. Not all truthfully. This is the months where my final exams are. I will go like...

STUDY

STUDY

STUDY

Exaggerating I was. This entry is full of boredom. I have this mini rebellion in me who wants to do almost everything except studying. I want to kick it off but it offers me a comfortable cushion for my mind. I am everything but stressed. Notice the irony?

That is all. I would probably start narrating or posting some series I made because my ideas tend to flow generously during exam periods! WHHYYYYYY!

huh. I like sighing. HUHH