FOCUS

FOCUS


Since it is the beginning of holiday I would like to settle down and share with you my current progress in life. Never did I thought that a book could actually boost my spirit to see things in my life in a better way.

The absence of my hand phone during last two months definitely left me a huge impact. I now realize that focusing on what we have shall bring us the feeling of gratitude hence when we believe in it, Allah will help us.

I am amidst of reading Dr Sheikh's book on his journey to space but so far a key point that he instilled in every page knots me in the conclusion to stay track (focus) in life. Be it studies, sports, relationships, etc. Focus will help us decipher the goal of our doings that can invite unexpected memorable happenings during the journey to the goal. Once one reaches the goal with focus, surely shall he miss the journey and the goal that he managed to accomplish will inspire him to do more. In short, one will never reach his goal (One with higher motivation). Reading his book make me realize that succeeding in life is all about a will and we sometimes determine the luck we are going to receive.

Adding to that, his outstanding evaluation towards his parents awakens me from my comfort zone; to never think that what I did for my parents is enough. His way of socialising and projecting himself is too amazing, stranding me in awe.

The takeaway from this book is focus

That is all for this entry. I hope the motivation that I am feeling shall be virtually send to all of you. Stay focus and goodluck. xx

akurimaujambu

Randomness Overload

EX
EXA
EXAM
EXAM P
EXAM PH
EXAM PHA
EXAM PHAS
EXAM PHASE


Ther it is. I finally managed to type that ridiculously heaved word that brought tons of hardships in my 2 weeks. Like others, I will have an anemic spirit to change. It come off weak but soon darkens as remorse floods into me.

I have already rummaged through my belongings and wisely sorted some of those junks. I am a typical teenager who dreams of a bedroom that coould be an ideal reading place, study area and also  a cool place to hangout alone. YASSS I mean ALONE XD


Call me an introvert. I dont care I am apathetic reader who prefers reading in my own comfortable yet modestly-designed area. Often I would head home to sneak in my rading corner, not a fancy place;an area between my plushy pillows and my hugely-sized bookshelves that I regard as the best piece of furniture  in my room. I lust for a boho look that enables me to relax but still motivates me to pursue my daily life at its peak as a student.

This year successfully knotted me into an unbearable conclusion. urgh.
Shall that be the post of today?

Worthless? I know.

That is the meaning of the post Im trying to instill.

Random... Our heart changes all the time.


XD

Kesal

Salam! Aku rasa dah lama aku tak post benda santai. Like update giteww. But anywho, aku tengah dalam fasa exam.

Di mana korang nampak budak sekolah pegang paper semasa berjalan. Kening macam nak bersambung sebab kerut dalam sangat. Sebenarnya, aku dah dapat rasa results aku akan slack sikit. 
Kesal GILERR DOHH! 

Bila ulangkaji tu macam maki diri sendiri sebab tak belajar awal.

Setiap malam rambut ikal mayang aku akan berubah..

Satu point tu aku hampir rasa future aku akan musnah kalau aku terus camni. Otak aku yang selama ni rilek dah bertimbun masalah macam sampah kat meja aku ni. Bila belajar last minit ni, sume tak kena.... Alahai...

Sekarang ni tinggal 4 subjek akademik yang aku boleh usaha untuk cover ukhrawi yang results dia InshAllah AMAZING! Kalau korang paham...

Walaupun tinggal 4 je, aku tetap berangan bila dapat senyum camni... Hmmmm...

Kau tengok yang pakai tudung hitam berenda putih macam minah sesat tu. Senyum punya lah luas... Rindu nak senyum giteww...


Sesal dah tak gunakan, jadi bagi yang masih berlengah tu pergi lah kerjakan apa yang patut sebelum korang menyesal cam aku ni... Dan tak sah kalau aku akhiri dengan kata azimat aku, GOODLUCK! 

Mistake I Commited

Mistake I Commited

To be honest, everyone would have commited a mistake in the past. But this time, as I reflect upon it, it seems to be a silly or regretful one. Despite that I am grateful for its happening since that made me who I am now.

People thought they helped to change me, but no. It is not the incident that acquired me to change, it is the embodiment of it; respecting others.

Growing up I was the kid that talks with no filter and I really mean it. Sometimes, the thought of me saying something passes and the next time I knew was people called me a liar. Its not their fault but I happened to blurt almost everything including if the thought that happen to pass by. Those thoughts included my hopes, lusts, my future actions and etc. Me blurting out did not stop. Now Im trying to shut my thoughts off when speaking to people because it does not only results me in blurting every string of thoughts that pass by but also randomness hence leading my audience to confusion that can knot into a conclusion of me being a liar.

I know I may not be the only one suffering this but shutting my thoughts off is REALLY HARD. I like and enjoy writing so thinking and observing is what I subconsciously do. Its a norm but I am still trying to change.

My fellow friends please do not let people change you even if its for the good, you must do it whole-heartedly to see the difference and goodluck. xx

akurimaujambu. xx

Gagasan Semangat Luarbiasa

9 Oktober 2014


Kadangkala kita yang sudah biasa disakiti akan merasa kekebasan. Kebas, tak mampu untuk merasa kepedihan atau derita. Hanya deraian air mata yang mengalir.

Aku punya hak untuk menarik balik catan semalam. Catan yang aku jadikan inspirasi agar hari yang mendatang bisa aku harungi dengan tabah. Namun, onak itu merapuhkan aku, membingungkan aku lantas menyesatkan matlamatku; untuk mencekalkan semangat. Aku insan lemah tidak punya gagasan tenaga yang boleh menolak aku untuk terus bangkit dengan diri sendiri.

Aku perlukan semangat; semangat yang luarbiasa. Tatkala aku duduk berbuaiakan mimpi memikirkan bahawa aku ini sang legenda penakluk dunia yang mampu mengenggam dunia, aku dipangkah, dicantas menenggelamkan lagi aku yang lemah di dalam takungan toksin.

Sekitar Aku

SEKITAR AKU #2



Catan 20 September 2014


Kewujudan Samurai bukan sahaja menimbulkan sengketa malah masalah yang semakin memburuk. Tidak pernah aku tahu bahawa pihak sekolah akan mendedahkan keaiban itu. Curigaku bertambah apabila kemesraan terjalin diantaranya dengan guru besar.

Apakah hubungan mereka kedua?

Cara pakaiannya telah sedikit-sebanyak menarik perhatian pelajar-pelajar di sekolah. Taring harimau dijadikan hiasan di kaki. Rantai tengkorak yang terjuntai dari beg sekolah... Apakah maksud itu? Adakah dia seorang peminat band yang terkemuka ataupun itu hanyalah trend yang tak pernah aku ikuti.

Aku tidak kuasa untuk membuat sebarang andaian atau tuduhan ke atasnya sementara tiada perkara yang curiga yang berlaku. Namun itu tidak menghentikanku dari menyiasat dirinya semakin hari semakin mengelirukan.

Syana dan Hazrah turut tertarik dengan Samurai. Pelik sungguh apabila keaiban itu didedahkan, tambahan pula aku, Syana dan Hazrah yang dahulunya disuruh mengunci mulut agar ia tidak diketahui ramai.

Biar pecah di perut, jangan pecah di mulut kata Cikgu Zaqwan.

Adakah apa yang dibacaku di diari Suhana dahulu betul? Akan adakah perkara karut itu, menghantui kami menceraikan setiap nyawa dari jasad?

Almost Coming True

Almost Real

Lately things that I had secretly wished for is coming into reality; personal-wise. My train of thoughts are being appreciated but what scared me the most was my thought becoming verbal, raising my ideas into other's consideration which are often used to be a decision of something I consider major.

My advice being used is definitely not a norm. Almost awkward, I pleaded them to not involve me in any matter that is personal. Never a desire that is. I want to reach out to people but not in a manner where every single soul could know who I am. Frankly, I am comfortable being 'transparent'; people at school or the world not knowing me. I cannot be in the spotlight or like I wish to be so. It will be a nightmare. Confronting people, meeting people is something I refrain from. 

What is almost real , a rhetorical question that I am uncertain of.

Excitement

EXCITEMENT SHALL EMERGE, I HOPE

Am I excited for October?

Well, I should not start with a rheteorical question but I favour it so there it goes... Hahah.

Nope. Not all truthfully. This is the months where my final exams are. I will go like...

STUDY

STUDY

STUDY

Exaggerating I was. This entry is full of boredom. I have this mini rebellion in me who wants to do almost everything except studying. I want to kick it off but it offers me a comfortable cushion for my mind. I am everything but stressed. Notice the irony?

That is all. I would probably start narrating or posting some series I made because my ideas tend to flow generously during exam periods! WHHYYYYYY!

huh. I like sighing. HUHH

EXO CHEN!!!!!!!

KIM JONG DAE 
warning: Do not read if you cannot stand a fangirl's confession



He is my bias from EXO. The guy who completely pushed all of my negative perspective of Kpop into the sea, or I would say the whole group, EXO themselves. lol


Considering that my eyes are settling down on two guys, Kai and you, Chen (like he will read this xD) its hard to prioritise either of you and in the end I will lose.

Kai and his dancing charms always steal my attention but you then emerged, diverting my attention (sweetly without me realizing) away from him making me drooling over you outstandingly remarkable vocals ability.

Oppa saranghae! Even if I cant meet you, you will always be a guy with special place in my heart! SARANGHAE!

Anyways, this a post of #fangirling and any Chen lovers or EXO-L who wish to join me, please do so! HAHAH.

Look at this cute collage (not my photo, from Google)

See! My oppa so cute I want him to be my teacher so I would be inspired to go to class everydayy! UWAAAA 

Sekitar Aku

SEKITAR AKU #1

Catan 19 September 2014

Persekitaran aku mungkin tidak begitu menghairahkan sebagaimana golongan elit menjalani kehidupan mereka. Tetapi ia sudah pun mencukupi bagiku untuk terseludup masuk ke fantasi yang aku reka, dinamakan Dunia Langkah Suka diambil daripada sebuah buku.

Dunia Langkah Suka, dunia yang didiami oleh aku dan rakan-rakan yang terdekat. Misi, masalah dan impian diberes bersama. Seolah-olah perjanjian sedarah telah kami lakukan dan iklankan di akhbar tempatan.

Apabila ada pasangan kekasih yang cocok, pasti akan ada mata merah yang punya perasaan iri hati. Dalam kes ini aku namakan sang mata merah Samurai.(Tidak ada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau mati). Sahabat akan memapah bahu tika  terjatuh, membangkitkan harapan yang hampir terkubur.

Samurai yang dikatakan cuba menjadi kacang hantu diantara hubungan kawanku telah meberi impak yang besar. Tidak ada lagi kenyitan mata dari kekasih sahabatku tika dia menjalankan tugas. Dunia Langkah Suka diselimuti kemuraman. Ribut yang melanda tidak keruan. Memberiku jentikan-jentikan resah tatkala wajah sahabatku bertukar menjadi kosong apabila bertentangan mata dengan kekasihnya.

Harapanku pada malam ini ialah hubungan mereka yang tercalar dapat dibaiki sebelum ribut melanda lagi. Yang pasti, aku akan ada untuk sahabatku. Semangat setiakawan tidak akan dilupakan sesekali aku dipinggirkan. Akan aku cari jalan menghapus Samurai.

Kegembiraan Dunia Langkah Suka akan kembali.

akurimaujambu. xx

Chasing you.

Chasing you 


Life is about a chase.
Chase that is endless to those who are prone to being drowned.
Drowned into the darkness of dreams.
Dreams that neither to be known good or bad.

It is a chase.
Full of struggles to those who are 'alive'.
For to live is the rarest thing.
Most exists and that is it.

Prove that you are worth the chase.
Just another stranger you are, I will say.

You do not give things cheaply.
It is not a 'thing' that I gave.

You chase, chase and chase but fall in the end.
After all it is just a chase. Chase does not determine you getting it.

Not everything goes in your way.
Goodluck for your own chase. It does not matter the type of chase you are chasing. Even though if you fall, the chase has thought you something.

akurimaujambu. xx 

<a href="http://www.hypersmash.com/dreamhost/" id="nO879">more info</a>

Watermark and My Birthday!

Happy pills and ecstatic.



Losing my phone was surely was not a great way of celebrating the month of my birthday. What is fun is that, praise to god things have been improving. Beyond my league, anyways considering I was 'disturbed" a few months ago.

Instagram is my way of checking you after losing my phone. My previous phone held both good and bad memories. Meeting you, rejection, nonsensical arguments and my poetry. I was drowned in a pool of pride seeing your Insta photos with your new watermark. Edgy yet simple it is. I miss you.

18th. I turned a year older. A year with much more new experience waiting, I hope. I could not help but to think if any wishes was actually sent to me from you, knowing the fact that your sister's birthday is just two days apart from mine. My bias from EXO who shares the same month as me, Kim Jong Dae known as Chen is nailed onto my mind. Hard. His angular features reminded me of you. Your flashing and dazzling smile.

I miss you.
Your last day of school will be my nightmare.
A growl signalling me that you and I no longer have chance.
A poetry and a collage will be waiting for you.
It is for you to treasure it.
Safely in your heavenly boundaries that I long to be in.

Always a gem you are.
In the darkness shining my life.
Igniting every hope that is shuttered.

akurimaujambu  

Weirdly pathetic

ME

ME

ME


Pardon if this entry is worthless. Im on my holidays. Reading is what that kept me awake. If I am not eating or reading, you will find me sleeping. Dosing off every conversation my family starts. The lust to communicate, write or even read is not there. Things seems harder. Am I depressed?

I am. All the symptoms I have been having for the past 6 months is killing me. I feel hopeless and believe it or not this entry alone takes 5 days...

Finding myself on my way back to lord is the greatest discovery. Consistency shall pursue I wish.

For ease is only revealed after hardships being torn apart from it.

akurimaujambu. xx

Inspiration

Women Of Colour


When people are busy trying to search for supplements or products that could lighten their skin they left the importance of gratitude toward how nature made us. Beauty shall fade as we age.

Lupita Nyong'O the women dressed in sky-blue is. Amazing yet genuine smile she has plastered on her face. But its not her exquisite smile yet breathtaking look we are discussing here. Looks does not define you. It is nothing but skin deep. It is sad knowing that some pays so much for compliments when they cost nothing. Best manners with pride stained in addition is the best. Modern world has successfully swept both women and man into falling into the deathly-hallowed valleys. I mean it. Most no longer have their judgement on the personality. Ironic and pathetic isnt our world is? 

Experience is indeed the best teacher. By no means this is a vent of anger.But, I was once rejected without that someone truly understanding how my thoughts or actions define me. He was fooled by her beauty. For I am just a girl under a shabby cloak. That indeed displayed his true-colours. Cynical. 

She has achieved so many things that actually entitled her the most beautiful women award. True that some of you reading this might have experience or attain more. But, always remember that not everything needs to be appreciated by the crowd or the world. It is just her fate to achieve the fame and respect. When a hard step is done, that is called sacrifice. Life that often has rainbows, sprinkles of glitters, marshmallows or any other heavenly-thoughts you could think of has sacrifices, thorns and pain beneath it. The speech delivered was nothing but perfection, as a teenager, insecurities is a necessity for us to surpass. And what will make you stand-out from the others is when you did it-whole-heartedly pushed through it.

So, stop doubting yourself for a thousand of probabilities would not make one truth. Believe in yourself- regard it as a hazardous weapon against insecurities and good luck.

akurimaujambu.Mun.Goodluck.xx                                                                                                       

Update about life

Sweetness trying to squeeze in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ba_WoSZXvw (listen to it as you read this okay? xx)

Its been a long time since my last entry but hey! Im back. 

Its a little bit on a down side side which I would prefer potraying only in my internet life because being a downer will only lead you to misery. Sometimes the solution to problems is to just outrun expectations. Expectations high or not are always the ones that drives us up the wall.

Having my results revealed leaved me speechless. Not that bad but unrealistic expectations overcome my gratitude for my latest results.

Sweetness from my relationships with my dearly-loved girlfriends is finally savouring. Thanking god Im now. Anywho, my always loved quote which is confidentially kept in my journal is:

                        "May be a successor a genius but always a failure a heartless soul is".

                                                                                                                          nyrahlily

My love life is still in an unconditionally type I would consider. Its too insane for me to think about it. Couldnt  life bring anything more? I hope not. He is as firm as ever with his decision; changing schools next year. Have I moved on, probably not. Its getting harder to when his gaze meet mine everyday? Should I give him my Message To Future letter? Too cliche and touche.

Anywho, I would like to wish goodluck to those who are in their pursue to happiness or are still in mosaic of contradictions. I love myself and all around me and that includes anyone reading this.

akurimaujambu.Mun. 

Goodluck. xx

Too much going on

I couldnt help myself but to express myself by writing. I am not the type who can roam around sharing their problems with other strangers.

I prefer to express it online for people dont know who I am. So, I dont hurt other people like how people usually do to me.

Turn their heel on, shut me off when I dont have the slightest reason to offer.

I either weep or keep.

Lack Of Desire

Lack of desire?

Salam All. Lately, I have been all miserable. Not knowing what I can do for my future. It was too perplexed to be explained.

Receiving my results for the mid-year-examinations choked me to a certain point that  I cant retain the feeling. It was too overwhelming. Personal problems that were not supposed to be lingering my head is now already nailed onto my head. Revealing the results to my parents were another problem. As I reflect upon the way I used to be, a tint of proudness savoured through me. But now, how do I get my 'old' self back? Where could have I gone wrong. After a fews day of clearing my mind... I finally managed to get the answer, it was lack of desire for success. Motivational books were not working right. Its as though, I was just wasting my time. An inkling just flashed and I know, the root was me not being confident.

A message to future

A Message To Future 
(songs for this letter: Creep and Daughter by Daniela Andrade)


To you, whom I prefer calling my Tobias.

Im never a poet nor an artist, but, always a lover of the heart and soul.

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. But, do you know what kept me striding, your smile as you white teeth begin to display its hygiene which is always the most perfect thing Ive seen.

Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feeling are gone for ever.

 I offer myself to you again with a heart when you almost broke it. It was my fault letting you in, starting the conversation with a person that I couldnt possibly love more. I meant it, Tobias.

Dare not say that man forgets sooner than women. You probably dont even know, but after all the humiliation I faced, how could you couldnt?

'What if I told you no'   even the memory of it hurts.

Simply implying that you dont even bother to know me, understand my way of thinking like how I tried. Seeing your conversations with other girls hinted suffocation and piercing pain as I know I wouldnt receive chances to even talk to you. For I am nothing, but a coward who drowns herself into books in return for some relief.

Dont doubt me for I will wait you when you couldnt turn anywhere, but deep down I know you wouldnt. You are so full of spirits that always kept you going.

I will miss you, the way you make my heart race when your sight is nowhere to be seen around 7.20-7.25.

Your smile that was never meant for me.

Your tweet that has never been dedicated to me unlike how mine was.

You have bewitched me, body and soul. 

Just because I dont talk to you it doesnt mean I still dont think about you. Im just distancing myself because I know I cant have you.

To whom  we love the most, to them we say the least.

I wish you the best of luck for your future as I know your mind leaves me from your thought like how you are leaving the school.

For I have loved you more than myself, Tobias. 4 years and I will still wait. Im not a despo anyways.

This is for you.

Skincare Regime #FlawlessJune

Skincare Regime // Penjagaan Kulit
#FlawlessJune

Salam chuolls!

Memandangkan sekarang nii dah masuk pon bulan cuti, Mun rasa cam time ni lahh yang terbaik dan mantapz untuk korang REPAIR kulit korang. Confirm ngah bengang  Pak Pandir bila dengar word 'repair' tuuh, kan? HAHAH. Maksudnya untuk perbaiki lahh dan kalau kulit tu dah FLAWLESS cam Siti Nurhaliza, apa kata kita pertingkatkan kulit tu untuk jadi lebih gebu atau sebaliknya...

Disclaimer- kulit Mun bukanlah baguih sangatt, saje nak ingatkan kowang supaya tak abaikan kulit masa ngah bercuti...


#1- Pencuci: pastikan korang ada ni sebab ni basic kepada penjagaan kulit. Ni untuk kulit terjaga dan kalau ada pon gunung-gunung taklah teruk sangat.

#2-Moisturizer: sebenarnya ni pun penting angatt sebab masa cuci muka tadi tuu mungkin ada minyak dah pon di-strip (macam tak paham pulokk). So, bila dah stripped off, kulit akan menghasilkan lebih minyak, sebab ni lah kene pakai untuk kekalkan moisture/kelembapan.. Haaa! Orang kulit berminyak pon kena pakai tau! sume jenis kulit kene apatah lagi yang kering.

#3- Sunscreen- klu tak tawu ni apa, produk ni yang selalunye ada perkataan 'SPF'. Ni pon penting tau sebab kita ni tinggal pulak kat Asia.. Tetawu jelahh panas nye camane. Lagi-lagi muka yang berbelak (suntanned) cam Mun ni. Hmmm

So, klu korang okay, Mun rasa cam nanti Mun nak adakan series #FlawlessJune yang akan ketengahkan pasal isu kulit. Komenlah klu ada pape soalan. Bubbyee!!!

                                                                                                       Mun

Kene reject ?!?!

Kene reject?!

Kadang-kadang aku ni kesian lah jugak kat budak-budak desperate Tapi, malangnya, kebanyakan yang aku kenal sumenye ambil jalan salah lepas kene reject atau breakup..hmmm

Meh, aku khabarkan sebab-sebab orang reject korang. Bagi pompan lah ye.. huhu ^_^

Sebab-sebab yang aku dapati dari research aku (cewahh ayat, skema bukan kemain!)

1.korang terlalu mengongkong

yelah, lelaki pun ada hidup bersosial dorang. Bukannye nak berkepit 24 jam bawah ketiak korang tuu.. Lagi-lagi yang berbau. hahah. Jangan terasa lahh yee.. xD

2.Dorang tak berapa nak sure kalau hubungan korang tu boleh last.

Bukan sume lelaki kat dunia suka berfoya-foya. Ada yang serius, tapi korang je tu buta.Jangan marah ye. Kekadang keikhlasan tu nampak sangat especially dari perkara -perkara rutin yang dorang buat cam tanya khabar ke.. Korang kene fikir bahawa itu adalah initiatif dorang dan please lahh ambil peduli dengan benda yang kecik dorang buat. Sebab benda kecik tulah yang mungkin susah untuk buat tau!

3. Dorang rasa tak serasi ngan you alls tu.. hekhek

Orang dah rasa tak serasi time je lahh ye. 

4.Korang nampak desperate

Walaupun korang rasa korang tak desperate sant tapi percayalah kekadang tu korang teramatlah desperate. Atau lebih spesifik, aku panggil DESPERADO. Misalnya, DESPERADO akan lazimnya check si Dia hampir setiap masa. Percayalah, kalau dorang suka kat depa pon, lama-lama naik rimas gak... Control lah diri tu. Hah! Lagi satu janganlahh depa nak jeles tahap gaban sebab kalau si dia suka pat depa dengan ikhlas, letaklah Jessica Alba pat depan biji mata.. Takkan dilayanya! 

Takat ni.. 4 je tips yang mampu dikongsi sebab che ni ngah musim periksa.. huhuu.. Harap sokonglah che ni untuk blogging ye! Assalamualaikum! 

Mun ;)

Muqaddimah

Muqaddimah~

Salam semua...

Tangan ni dah rasa gatal sangat nak menaip... Almakllah, baru buat blog lah katakan.. Jadi design, nama dan apa-apa yang ada kene mengena dengan blog ni nampaklah sesangat noob! Hahah. Eh, jangan gelakkan tau! :(

Since ni post pertama // muqaddimah, nada friendly mestilah dikeluarkan huhu.. xD harap antum yang membaca post ni tak tergelak sakannya.

Mengenai diri Mun, Mun kirakan mudahlah jugak, 14 tahun kot.. Sebenarnya rasa ter-inspired, jadi nak try-try lahh rasa blogging ni. Lagiponn.. Mun memang minat berceloteh sendiri jadi apa salahnya buat blogkan? (cover line takut orang sangka gila sebab celoteh sensorang). Mun skola madrasah sepenuh masa jadi kekadang tu balek lambat, jadi maaf kalau tak consistent mengupdate blog ni. Tapi, InshaAllah consistent sebab tengan berkobar sesangat ni.. huhuu ^_^ 

Setakat ni.. tu je kot and kalau ada masa Mun update kayy?! :) Akhir sekali, Mun harap korang boleh la support Mun blogging and Mun pon doakan korang sihat sejahtera kay! Assalamualaikum and bye! 

Mun :")